Yeah, yeah, yeah. We get it. Capital cities are the bomb dot com. Restaurants, bars and a killer vibe make them a natural fit for a fun, exciting getaway with the person you're most trying to impress..and get naked with. Take your gal or guy on a weekend away to one of Australia's major cities and you'll get laid. Guaranteed. But we don't just want to get laid people. We want more than that. We want undying devotion, love and for your partner to actually think you are the most brilliant and romantic person on earth and they are actually unworthy of being in your presence.
So it's time to think outside of the cities.
Think, the country.
Yes! Cows and dirt and scary service stations. That country.
Plenty of room to explore (and perhaps a little hastag 'outdoor exercise' with no prying eyes, wink wink) Fresh food made by people who actually grow the stuff, wine to lubricate the conversation and hopefully the inhibitions and a feeling of freedom and abandonment that is a necessary requirement on dirty weekends away.
Aunty Jen is here to help. Read on for my latest pick for a Romantic Getaway in the NSW Countryside Guareanteed to Make You Look Like The Most Romantic Person Eva.
You may have vaguely heard of this popular inland city. Something about food and wine and apples...And yes. That's what you'll find here. But that's not what makes this regional city a must visit. Beneath the touristy veneer of wine swilling and wholesome country cooking (aka famous foodies such as Masterchef's Kate Brack's and Local is Lovely's Sophie Hanson) is a gorgeous little country community that will embrace you and make you feel at home even if you're just staying for a weekend. But more importantly, you will find a sly little town that holds some very sexy secrets if you know where to look.
A place to bang..I mean hang
Your first step is to call Stuart of Your Stay. Not only is Stuart a bit of a stud muffin himself (he can flirt the legs off a table), but he is also unusually gifted at renovating old properties and making them into romantic-as-fuck B&B's. You rent the whole house (at a rate zillions of dollars cheaper than the city) and can then proceed to have relations in every room. Or like, enjoy the views. Whatever floats your boat. Stuart won't mind either way.
Tell them Jen sent you
Next, drop into the local's favourite coffee shop - Bills Bean's East Orange. Ricky, Carter and the gorgeous girls behind the counter will not just ask for your order. They will ask you how your day is. And they'll listen. Imagine that! Then they'll tell you how damn good you look and proceed to flirt with you shamelessly. I love them. Also - they'll remember your order when you visit them again and will follow you on instagram so...score. New followers are always welcome (jenniferraewriter - be-tee-dubs ;)
Whoever said presents were not the way to a gal's heart was lying
Time for a little shopping for that Sexy Sally in your life. (Or the Hot Henry) Check out Belle Amoire for some of my favourite fashion labels such as Spell and Zimmerman or go visit Pip at Iglou. The cavernous white building filled with drool-worthy homewares and fashion is reason enough to go there.
Angus Barrett Saddlery is your stop for leather goods. Angus' family having been in the saddle making game for as long as the man from snowy river has been sliding recklessly down mountainsides. He has now set up shop in the main street and sells the most gorgeous array of leather travel bags, wallets and belts. I get turned on just by the smell of the shop alone. You have been warned.
Eat somewhere fun
Forget the snooty restaurants (unless you're into that shit then by all means, snoot away my friends) but for a fun night out filled with red wine and all sorts of Italian shenanigans - go visit Fiorini's Ristorante Italiano. Now don't expect a flash place filled with expensive silverware. But do expect a warm, cosy place that serves the best God-damn Italian in the state. Big call, I know. But after you eat there - you'll be picking up what I'm throwing down. The only downside to this place is that there are no sexy 20-something Italian waiters for me to flirt with - but then, I suppose if you're on a date - you probs better not flirt with the waiters. (Although I totally would - Simone - call me ;)
Get her flowers...bitches love flowers
No dirty weekend is complete without flowers. And if you weren't aware of that I'm angry with you. Go immediately to Botanica Flora in Orange and speak with Jemma about purchasing the biggest fuck-off bunch of flowers she has and all is forgiven.
Stay tuned for my next pick for a dirty weekend away.
Happy romancing lovers!
Jennifer Rae x
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